The Ten Commandments of Call of Cthulhu

The Ten Commandments of Cthulhu Hunting

Cthulhu investigators have an average lifespan only half the national
average. Their working careers are even shorter, compared to laymen,
because many investigators don't begin exploring the Mythos until late in
life. Such abbreviated careers are the result of psychological casualties
and death by misadventure. Such deaths are largely preventable by following
a few simple rules.



1) Keep It Secret
"Opinions were divided as to notifying the Massachusetts State Police, and
the negative finally won."
-H.P. Lovecraft, The Dunwich Horror

The most deadly threat posed by the Cthulhu Mythos is knowledge of its
arcane science, its creatures, and locales. Always remain closemouthed
about your activities. It's often better not to bother with a cover story;
professional seekers-after-truth make indifferent liars.

In general, authorities should not be notified of a Cthuloid menace's
presence unless catastrophe looms. Police, federal agents, or the National
Guard are unprepared to deal with the preternatural, and their
participation in a dangerous investigation is rarely helpful. Secretiveness
is not for selfish purposes - it can save lives. The same applies to local
help, who must often be hired to complete an investigation. Of course,
secrecy can be carried too far - a man who lost a family member to a
Cthulhu monster has earned the right to know the truth.

Another reason for sealed lips is preventative. Widespread knowledge of
paranormal techniques would change our world irrevocably. A crackpot with a
grudge could whistle up Azathoth and wipe out a state. To obtain Glaaki's
hideous reward of near-immortality, hundreds of hopeless or
terminally-diseased folk might flock to join his service. A misguided
government agency might attempt to utilize Ghatanothoa as a military asset.
Worse scenarios are easy to imagine. Some scholars also believe that many
authorities may be pawns of the foul Cthuloid monsters such as the Mi-Go,
etc. and are not trustworthy.

By confining knowledge of arcane horrors, a handful of dedicated
scholars can work to avoid the worst horrors, advance the cause of science,
and protect not only humanity but also the dreams of humanity.



2) Stay Together
"Even though you're a vampire, you're still my brother."
-from The Lost Boys

This particular tidbit of advice is two-part: first, never operate alone if
you can possibly avoid it; second, stick with your partners.
While many great Mythos discoveries have been made by intrepid
explorers working by themselves, it equally true that most of these
solitary scholars came to bad ends subsequently. Emulate their skill and
their values, not their solitude.
Peter Dannseys, the noted metaphysician, gives a cautionary account of
the parapsychologist L. Svedin who, with several aides, ended his career
while investigating cattle mutilations. Correctly suspecting a nearby
mineshaft, Svedin sent a hired hand into the shaft while he and the others
performed a bovine autopsy. When the hired man did not return, he sent two
aides after them. They, in turn, vanished. Svedin sent a dozen men into the
shaft in twos and threes before plunging in with the rest of team, never to
be seen again.
Some years later, Dr. Dannseys discovered that the mineshaft housed a
rather nasty parasitic being. The shaft originally held only a singly
parasite, who captured the hired hand and transformed him into a being like
itself. When Svedin sent in his aides, the parasites transformed them as
well. When Svedin finally braved the shaft with his remaining
investigators, nearly twenty parasites awaited him. If Svedin had initially
penetrated the cave in force, he would have easily overpowered the
parasite. By frittering away his strength, he became an accomplice to a
great tragedy in parapsychological history.



3) Act in Haste, Repent at Leisure
"Then we'll turn it up hotter and burn the ashes."
-from Return of the Living Dead

Enormous grief stems from the crime of acting before thinking. In one case
a team discovered that an enormous clay plaque was connected with a
particularly obnoxious manifestation of Nyarlathotep. Suddenly confronted
by a hissing swarm of supernatural locusts, they instinctively reacted by
shattering the plaque. Alas, the plaque actually contained the chant for
dismissing the aforementioned manifestation, and shattering it eliminated
all hope. The entire team was killed or hospitalized, and the manifestation
continues to this day. Anyone knowing a 12th Dynasty spell for the
dismissal of the Bringer Of Pests is invited to contact Dr. Rategg c/o
Department of Oriental Antiquities at Miskatonic University.
Such tales should give pause. Before doing something irrevocable, make
sure you have no other choice.



4) Always Have a Plan
"... Lancelot, Galahad, and I leap out of the rabbit ..."
-from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Even a bad plan is better than no plan at all. While a bad plan may get
everyone killed or turned insane, the lack of a plan always will. In
contrast, Cthulhu monsters usually operate with very clear goals.
In one sad case, a group of scholars accidentally created a dimensional
Gate to a hideous alien reality. One of the scholars entered the Gate
without any plan of return. Presumably he's there yet. His friends wish him
luck, and periodically send sandwiches and beer through the Gate, hoping
they reach him. Somehow.
When investigating a Cthuloid manifestation every member of the team
should have a clear idea of what will be expected of him during the
investigation. If possible, a backup plan should also be available. Have an
idea of what to do if the only members with guns disappear. If one member
of the team is especially important to the success of the investigation,
make sure he is safe at all times, don't leave him alone in the cellar,
don't take a nap while he reads some awful book, and don't let him
experiment with strange talismans alone.



5) Scout It Out
"Does this house have a basement?"
-from Re-Animator

Before risking an encounter, make sure someone has scouted the area. This
need not take the form of sending in commandoes; doing a bit of research
into local history can be quite effective. Careful survey of all the
evidence is vital. Remember: knowledge is power.
One of the surest ways to be killed by monsters is to run into their
lair with no information about possible escapes, numbers of monsters, and
other such vital information.



6) Guns are a Last Resort
"What're we supposed to use, harsh language?"
-from Aliens

A firearm is a useful tool, handy in opening jammed locks, an excellent way
to signal a comrade, or useful in attracting the attention of local
authorities. When confronted with unruly locals, nonchalant display of a
firearm can often effect quick cooperation. A gun has a wide assortment of
uses; no investigatorial team should be without one.
Many investigators mistakenly assume that guns can defend against
preternatural entities. This is a serious error. Firearms are designed to
kill or wound humans and other native Earth life. No reasonable person
would expect much effect against entities from other worlds, other
realities, or other geologic time periods.
Undisciplined use of guns as weapons leads to unfortunate accidents, an
unscientific regard for violence as the answer to problems, and even to
possible jail terms. A gun should be the last resort of the successful
investigator.



7) Know Your Enemy
"I want to measure the bite marks. Maybe we can find out what we're dealing
with here."
-from Creepshow

Use all forms of media as research tools. Books, movies, the television
news can all give clues and information about the weaknesses, powers and
whereabouts of the enemy. Know the sign of the vampire, the werewolf, the
deep one hybrid, and others.
But do not expect that something which worked on the late show will
work against Cthuloid monsters. Always keep an open mind with regards to
the mythos.



8) Things Are Not Always as They Seem
"I never drink ... wine!"
-from Dracula

Some entities are not distinguishable as powerful monsters, or even as
monsters at all. Is that three-foot tall insectoid really an avatar of
Nyarlathotep? Is your next door neighbor who spends so much time in his
swimming pool actually a deep one? When dealing with the mythos, assume
that what you encounter is powerful: that's just playing it safe and smart.
Keep eyes and ears open. Ronno Meeb relates a time when a friend he
thought dead came knocking at his door. Some of his companions were
overjoyed at seeing the friend again and invited him inside. When he
claimed that he was thirsty, Professor Meeb responded slyly "How about your
favorite, an ice-cold glass of turpentine?" When he responded that
turpentine would be delicious, the rest of the group pulled out guns and
blew him to pieces. The fluid flowing from his veins was, luckily,
fluorescent yellow, not red.
Many monsters are expert at fitting into human society. Beware
especially the effect that Mythos monsters can have on their weak-minded
human servants. Almost anyone could be a worshipper of the Great Old Ones.



9) Never Give Up
"Sometimes on the very brink of certainty, I failed; yet still I clung to
the hope which the next day or the next hour might realize."
-Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

Inexperienced investigators commonly give up when it appears that victory
is impossible. Dedicated scholars never cease action, no matter how
hopeless matters seem.
Never overlook the obvious; recheck your data; do more research. If
things still look bleak, try random approaches to defeating the menace. No
matter how bad it seems, it can get much worse if you give up. Don't go
poking sticks into wasps' nests unless you are prepared to finish the job.
Our brothers and sisters in arms are all that stand between earth and
the sinister designs of the Cthulhu Mythos. Take heart in the fact that
perils and sacrifices of today may make a better world for future
generations of the human race!



10) Be Prepared
"Normal folks, they don't spit up bullets when you shoot 'em!"
-from Near Dark

This goes much further than just bringing along extra rope when spelunking.
Before starting an expedition, do research on the subject, find out any
legends about the area which may give helpful clues; with access to ancient
tomes of magical spells, a particular cantrip may be useful on your
investigation. When ready to confront the beasty, consider the hardware
needed. Take anything which sounds even remotely useful, but does not
burden or impede movement.
In most cases, assume that you can never have enough stuff. Who knows
what might come in handy when facing the Mythos?